Your co-worker in the next cube is at it again — yakking it up nonstop, clipping her nails, popping her gum and sucking up to the boss. Normally, you just grin and bear it but today is different. You have full permission (with all the requisite rights and privileges), to haul off and slap her into next week because it is National Slap Your Annoying Coworker Day. This annual event takes place every October 23 — so if someone at work is bugging you, don’t be shy — take advantage. (By the way, we’re JOKING, of course!)
Slap Your Annoying Coworker Day - History
Michael got smacked
Episode of "The Office" where Pam slapped Michael Scott for having the nerve to date her mom.
Rita slapped Phil
In "Groundhog Day," Andie MacDowell administered the same slap at the same time to the same coworker for years and years and years.
Ronny got slapped Italian-style
In "Moonstruck," when Nicolas Cage's character (Ronny) declared his love for Cher's character (Loretta) — she double slapped him and shouted, "Snap out of it!"
Teen slapped Mom in "Mildred Pierce"
In a rare turning of the tables, unruly teen Ann Blyth delivered a slap to long-suffering mom Joan Crawford in "Mildred Pierce."
Slap Your Annoying Coworker Day Activities
Watch a Three Stooges marathon
Without a doubt, you can't dissect the science of slapping without the Three Stooges. It is reported that Moe slapped Larry so much that one side of Larry's face felt like leather. (You definitely have to build up to that much slapping.) So, after you survive yet another day of torture with that most obnoxious of coworkers who sits two cubes over, enjoy back-to-back episodes of one of the funniest trios in film.
Perfect your slapping technique
Before you go into work, make sure you are ready to administer the most effective slap possible. You have, in fact, been flexing your hand muscles regularly in anticipation — and the day has finally arrived. Decide on the forehand slap, backhand slap or five finger slap. National Slap Your Annoying Coworker Day is rife with possibilities.
Train others on how to give a good slap
Since it's National Slap Your Annoying Coworker Day, don't keep all the fun to yourself. Spread the joy around. During the next break, train a group of your favorite coworkers on all the possible slapping scenarios. Help them with their coordination because there's nothing worse than winding up to slap somebody and missing the mark.
5 Things To Say Just Before Slapping Somebody
What countless women have said to Groucho in countless Marx Brothers films
"You're taking WHO?!"
What a jilted prom date says to his/her (former) girlfriend/boyfriend
"If you don't give me back my money, I'm slapping you like you stole something from Kroger."
Usually said when confronting a thief
"You bought her a HOUSE?!"
Generally said to a cheating spouse.
"I was just trying it out!"
Preferably said after you crash your girlfriend's car
Why We Love Slap Your Annoying Coworker Day
It's a day for revenge
The French have a saying that "revenge is a dish best served cold." Basically, that's a stylish way of saying that when you want revenge, the longer you wait — the more impact you will have on your unsuspecting target. For example, your coworker hasn't shut his mouth from the moment he sat down in the cube next to yours AND he has gas. You have patiently waited for National Slap Your Annoying Coworker Day and you bought new leather gloves for the privilege — so just do it.
It has rules
As much as we love National Slap Your Coworker Day, you have to keep in mind that there are still rules for these one-sided fisticuffs. The rules dictate that you can only slap one person each hour but you can slap them once for each offense. If your supervisor tries to intervene, you can slap him/her, too — just bear in mind there may be consequences.
Nobody really gets slapped
As much as we adore the idea of National Slap Your Annoying Coworker Day, we would be remiss if we didn't remind everybody that this is not a real day. You CANNOT go around slapping people, as much as you may like and as much as they may deserve. Still, you can dream.