Melissa Auf der Maur Reflects on Her '90s Rock Memoir

The former Hole and Smashing Pumpkins bassist shares the personal journey behind writing 'Even the Good Girls Will Cry'.

Apr. 11, 2026 at 11:00am

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An abstract close-up image of shattered glass reflecting dramatic studio lighting, conceptually representing the turbulent 1990s alternative rock scene that Melissa Auf der Maur experienced as a musician.The memoir 'Even the Good Girls Will Cry' reflects on the glittering highs and shattering lows of the 1990s indie rock world that Melissa Auf der Maur navigated as a bassist for Hole and Smashing Pumpkins.Albany Today

Melissa Auf der Maur, a music-loving Montreal teen in the early 1990s, went on to join both Hole and Smashing Pumpkins as a bassist, touring the world with the bands over the next decade. Now 54, Auf der Maur has written a memoir, 'Even the Good Girls Will Cry: A '90s Rock Memoir,' reflecting on that formative time, the chaos of the '90s indie rock scene, and her desire to correct the record on Courtney Love's legacy.

Why it matters

Auf der Maur's memoir provides a unique insider's perspective on the rise of alternative rock in the '90s, as well as a more empathetic portrayal of the much-maligned Courtney Love. The book offers a personal and cultural reckoning with that era, shedding light on the challenges faced by women in the male-dominated music industry.

The details

In the summer of 1991, a teenage Auf der Maur was captivated by early shows from the fledgling bands Hole and Smashing Pumpkins at a Montreal punk club. She even offered to let Hole crash at her apartment, though her roommate nixed the idea. Over the next several years, Auf der Maur would end up joining both bands as a bassist, touring the world with them. She also found her first true love in Foo Fighters' Dave Grohl. However, by the early 2000s, Auf der Maur had become disillusioned with the corporatization of the indie scene and walked away from the music industry.

  • In the summer of 1991, Auf der Maur saw early shows by Hole and Smashing Pumpkins in Montreal.
  • In 1994, Smashing Pumpkins' Billy Corgan called Auf der Maur and told her she was joining Hole as their bassist.
  • Auf der Maur made her debut with Hole playing songs from their album 'Live Through This' at the Reading Festival in England later in 1994.
  • Auf der Maur's memoir 'Even the Good Girls Will Cry: A '90s Rock Memoir' was published on March 17, 2026, her 54th birthday.

The players

Melissa Auf der Maur

A Montreal native who joined the bands Hole and Smashing Pumpkins as a bassist in the 1990s, and has now written a memoir reflecting on that formative period of her life.

Courtney Love

The force-of-nature singer of the band Hole, who Auf der Maur worked closely with and aims to provide a more empathetic portrayal of in her memoir.

Billy Corgan

The singer-guitarist of Smashing Pumpkins, who helped bring Auf der Maur into Hole's lineup in 1994 after the death of their previous bassist.

Dave Grohl

The Foo Fighters frontman, with whom Auf der Maur had her first true love relationship during her time in the '90s rock scene.

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What they’re saying

“It was primarily an act of reflection, self-reflection and healing. And really, a gift to my daughter, which is why I dedicated it to her.”

— Melissa Auf der Maur, Musician and Memoirist

“I kind of went running for a couple of decades to reinvent myself and to come out of the shadows of the '90s. And I was a lucky one, you know. I wasn't a drug addict, but I was surrounded by a lot of challenging and painful things, and I needed a lot of time to pass for me to really understand the impact it had on me.”

— Melissa Auf der Maur, Musician and Memoirist

“Obviously, I have a very unique lens on her. I'm her longest-standing right-hand woman of any of her bands. I make what people would call a credible witness.”

— Melissa Auf der Maur, Musician and Memoirist

What’s next

Auf der Maur's memoir 'Even the Good Girls Will Cry: A '90s Rock Memoir' is available now, providing readers with a firsthand account of the chaotic and formative years of the 1990s alternative rock scene.

The takeaway

Melissa Auf der Maur's memoir offers a unique insider's perspective on the rise of alternative rock in the '90s, as well as a more empathetic portrayal of the much-maligned Courtney Love. The book serves as a personal and cultural reckoning with that era, shedding light on the challenges faced by women in the male-dominated music industry.