Lagtrain: On Valentine's Day and Romantic Love

A personal reflection on the meaning of love and relationships.

Published on Feb. 24, 2026

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In this essay, the author reflects on their experiences with romantic love and relationships, using the metaphor of the 'Lagtrain' vocaloid song to explore their identity on the aromantic and asexual spectrum. The author shares their past attempts at finding a romantic partner and the relief they felt in 'keeping up' with their peers, before realizing they may be on the aromantic and asexual spectrum. Despite not feeling romantic love, the author finds love in other forms through family and friends, and is focused on their own personal journey of self-discovery.

Why it matters

This personal essay provides insight into the experience of being aromantic and asexual, challenging societal norms and expectations around romantic relationships. It highlights how individuals can find fulfillment and meaning in life outside of traditional notions of romantic love.

The details

The author recounts their past attempts at finding a romantic partner, including participating in a college matchmaking algorithm and buying flowers for a male friend. However, none of these endeavors led to a lasting relationship. The author then discovers the 'Lagtrain' vocaloid song, which uses the metaphor of missing an express train to communicate the feeling of falling behind in life when it comes to relationships. This resonates with the author, who feels they have been trying to 'catch this express train' of a fated, forever relationship, only to be left alone at the station. Ultimately, the author comes to the realization that they may be on the aromantic and asexual spectrum, which helps explain their lack of romantic attraction and the alien feeling of going on dates.

  • Around this time last year, the author participated in a college matchmaking algorithm.
  • Some years before that, the author bought flowers for a guy friend from their high school's environmental club.

The players

Grace Zhang

The author of the essay, who is reflecting on their experiences with romantic love and relationships.

Inabakumori

The vocaloid artist who created the song 'Lagtrain', which the author uses as a metaphor for their experiences.

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What they’re saying

“If I don't know the words I lost, I'll set off on a journey, taking a ride on the local train.”

— Inabakumori (thetech.com)

The takeaway

This essay highlights how individuals can find fulfillment and meaning in life outside of traditional notions of romantic love, and challenges societal expectations around relationships. The author's personal journey of self-discovery and acceptance of their identity on the aromantic and asexual spectrum serves as an inspiring example of embracing one's authentic self.