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Brother's Wedding Requires Kids to Have Stranger Sitter
Destination wedding creates logistical challenges for family guests
Apr. 6, 2026 at 7:07am
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A reader is struggling with the request from their brother-in-law to leave their children with an unknown babysitter during the wedding reception at a destination wedding. The reader is not comfortable with this arrangement and is unsure how to address the issue without seeming rude or unsupportive of their husband's participation in the wedding party.
Why it matters
This situation highlights the challenges that can arise when wedding plans don't accommodate the needs of all guests, especially those with young children. It raises questions about balancing family obligations, financial constraints, and maintaining relationships during major life events.
The details
The reader's brother-in-law, who is getting married, has requested that the reader's children participate in the ceremony but then be taken to a babysitter for the reception. The reader has two young boys and is not comfortable leaving them with a stranger in an unfamiliar location. The reader's husband is a groomsman, so he is expected to attend the reception, but the reader is just a guest. The other married siblings in the wedding party also have children, but their spouses are not part of the wedding party, so they can stay with the kids.
- The wedding is a destination event.
- The children are expected to participate in the ceremony but not attend the reception.
The players
Reader
A guest at the wedding with two young sons.
Reader's Husband
A groomsman in the wedding party.
Brother-in-Law
The groom, who is the last of four siblings to get married.
Future Wife
The bride, with whom the reader is not friends.
What they’re saying
“I'm just not comfortable having my kids with a stranger and it's going to impact my enjoyment of the event, so I want to go a different way.”
— Reader, Wedding Guest
What’s next
The reader plans to discuss the situation with their husband to ensure they are on the same page, and then determine the best course of action, which may involve the reader missing the reception to stay with the children.
The takeaway
This situation highlights the importance of wedding planners and couples considering the needs of all guests, especially those with young children, when making event arrangements. Open communication and flexibility can help avoid potential conflicts and ensure everyone can participate and enjoy the celebration.


