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Montecito Today
By the People, for the People
Prince Harry Says He 'Never Wanted' Royal Role, Felt 'Lost and Betrayed'
The Duke of Sussex opened up about his decades-long struggle with the constraints of the monarchy and his mother's tragic death.
Apr. 18, 2026 at 6:42pm
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Prince Harry's candid remarks about the psychological toll of royal life reflect the isolation and inner turmoil that can come with growing up in the public eye.Montecito TodayIn a keynote address in Australia, Prince Harry revealed that he had rejected the royal role as early as age 12, feeling 'lost, betrayed or completely powerless' due to the constraints of the monarchy and the trauma of his mother's death. He explicitly linked the royal institution to Princess Diana's tragic passing, saying he believed her royal duties 'got her killed.' The Duke's remarks represent a significant hardening of his public critique of the British monarchy, tracing his disillusionment back to his adolescence.
Why it matters
Prince Harry's candid admission about his lifelong struggle with the royal role provides a rare, unfiltered glimpse into the psychological toll of growing up in the public eye as a member of the British royal family. His comments shed light on the complex personal and emotional factors that ultimately led to his and Meghan Markle's departure from the UK and the ongoing tensions within the monarchy.
The details
In his keynote address, Prince Harry disclosed that his desire to abdicate his institutional responsibilities took root as early as age 12, when he first vocalized his rejection of the path ahead, saying 'I don't want this job. I don't want this role - wherever this is headed, I don't like it.' The Duke explicitly linked the constraints of the monarchy to the circumstances of his mother's death in Paris, suggesting the institution itself was a primary factor in the tragedy. He told attendees he believed his mother's royal role 'got her killed,' a realization he said fueled a prolonged period of adolescent resistance.
- At age 12, Prince Harry first expressed his rejection of the royal role.
- In 2017, the Duke admitted to being close to a 'complete breakdown' after two decades of suppressed grief.
- In 2020, Prince Harry and Meghan Markle formally departed from frontline royal duties and relocated to Montecito, California.
- In 2023, Prince Harry published his memoir 'Spare,' which alleged King Charles III referred to him as a 'spare' at birth.
The players
Prince Harry
The Duke of Sussex, who has publicly critiqued the British monarchy and his role within it.
Meghan Markle
Prince Harry's wife, who accompanied him during the keynote address in Australia.
Princess Diana
Prince Harry's mother, whose tragic death in Paris he believes was linked to the constraints of the royal institution.
King Charles III
Prince Harry's father, who allegedly referred to him as a 'spare' at birth according to the Duke's memoir 'Spare.'
Brendan Nelson
A former politician who attended the keynote address alongside Prince Harry and Meghan Markle.
What they’re saying
“I don't want this job. I don't want this role - wherever this is headed, I don't like it.”
— Prince Harry, Duke of Sussex
“I was very much against it, and I stuck my head in the sand for years and years.”
— Prince Harry, Duke of Sussex
“In my experience, loss is disorienting at any age. Grief does not disappear because we ignore it.”
— Prince Harry, Duke of Sussex
What’s next
Prince Harry's remarks in Australia suggest no inclination toward reconciliation with the working royal fold, reinforcing his position that the role he was born into was one he 'never wanted.' The Duke's continued public critiques of the monarchy are likely to further strain his relationship with the royal family.
The takeaway
Prince Harry's candid admission about his lifelong struggle with the royal role provides a rare, unfiltered glimpse into the psychological toll of growing up in the public eye as a member of the British royal family. His comments shed light on the complex personal and emotional factors that ultimately led to his and Meghan Markle's departure from the UK and the ongoing tensions within the monarchy.

