Lindy West's New Memoir Explores Her Polyamorous Relationship

In "Adult Braces," the writer opens up about her unconventional marriage and the public scrutiny it has faced.

Mar. 11, 2026 at 9:40am

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Lindy West, the acclaimed author of "Shrill," has released a new memoir titled "Adult Braces" that delves into her polyamorous relationship with her husband, Ahamefule J. Oluo, and their partner, Roya Amirsoleymani. The book tracks West's journey from initial hostility towards discussing her sex life to ultimately embracing her unconventional family dynamic. However, the public response to West's relationship has been harsh, with many of her loyal fans struggling to accept her choices.

Why it matters

West's relationship has long been a lightning rod for discussion online, with much of the response dehumanizing and lacking in empathy. "Adult Braces" is West's attempt to reclaim her narrative and ask her readers to approach her story with an open mind, even if they may not agree with her choices.

The details

In the memoir, West details the chaos and dishonesty that marked the early years of her and Oluo's attempted polyamory, including incidents where Oluo would disappear for hours and then return drunk. West grappled with the decision of whether to leave her marriage or try to make it work, ultimately choosing the latter. By the book's end, West has fallen in love with one of Oluo's "secret girlfriends," and the three move in together.

  • In 2022, West, Oluo, and Amirsoleymani announced their throuple in a YouTube video.
  • West moved to Bainbridge Island, Washington, from Seattle in 2023, mostly to escape rising rental prices in the city.

The players

Lindy West

An acclaimed author known for her memoirs, including "Shrill," who has now released a new book titled "Adult Braces" that explores her polyamorous relationship.

Ahamefule J. Oluo

West's husband, who has been open about his desire for polyamory, which has caused significant turmoil in their marriage.

Roya Amirsoleymani

West's and Oluo's partner, who is the newest entrant to West's public world and the most private of the three.

Sam Irby

West's friend and a writer on the first season of the TV adaptation of "Shrill," who witnessed the "slow decimation of her self-esteem" during the production.

Barry

West's dog, who is a constant presence in her life and her writing.

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What they’re saying

“Navigating the opaque machinery of Hollywood made me anxious and paranoid. I became a quivering freak, vacillating between prickly defensiveness and desperate people-pleasing.”

— Lindy West, Author (Adult Braces)

“Hollywood does not want to uplift a fat bitch. Watching her learn that lesson, while I was learning it alongside her, was fucking tough.”

— Sam Irby, Writer (Slate)

“People made such huge analyses about our day-to-day life based on where I put my arm. I think even the last time Lindy made a post about my birthday, someone jumped in and was like, 'You need to leave this person.'”

— Ahamefule J. Oluo (Slate)

“As much as a certain segment of Lindy's fan base might think they're coming from a place of care and support for her, that has been borderline possessive, even kind of abusive. That has denied her a level of agency and autonomy in self-determining her existence and her relationships.”

— Roya Amirsoleymani, Curator and Creative Producer (Slate)

What’s next

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The takeaway

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