Cafe Hosts Speed Friending Nights to Combat Loneliness

A small cafe in Washington is bringing people together through structured social interactions.

Mar. 31, 2026 at 7:00am

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A brightly colored, high-contrast silkscreen print of a single, iconic coffee cup repeated in a tight grid pattern, conceptually representing the communal and social aspects of a cafe hosting speed-friending events.A vibrant, pop art-inspired illustration captures the spirit of a community cafe hosting speed-friending events to help combat loneliness.Pasco Today

Between 12 and 20 percent of Americans now have no friends at all, a phenomenon known as the 'friendship recession.' To help combat this growing issue, Saul Martinez, the owner of Cafe Con Arte in Pasco, Washington, started hosting speed-friending nights. The format borrows from speed-dating, with strangers rotating through short conversations at two-person tables, warmed up by ice-breaker questions. While these events may not lead to lifelong bonds, they provide a space for adults to socialize and make new connections.

Why it matters

Loneliness has become a structural problem in the United States, with remote work, online shopping, and social media contributing to a decline in casual social interactions. Studies show that people with strong friendships live longer and report higher life satisfaction, while chronic loneliness carries health risks similar to smoking. Events like speed-friending aim to address this growing issue by creating opportunities for adults to build new relationships.

The details

Cafe Con Arte's speed-friending nights feature a format similar to speed-dating, with participants rotating through short conversations at two-person tables. Icebreaker questions help warm up the interactions, with topics ranging from trivial hills to die on to hometowns. While a single event may not lead to lifelong friendships, the goal is for participants to make at least one new acquaintance or connection. Owner Saul Martinez started the events after his niece struggled to meet people when she moved to the area.

  • Cafe Con Arte started hosting speed-friending nights after the owner's niece moved to the area and struggled to meet people.

The players

Saul Martinez

The owner of Cafe Con Arte in Pasco, Washington, who started hosting speed-friending nights to help people in the community make new connections.

Jaimie Krems

An associate professor of psychology at UCLA and co-founder of the UCLA Center for Friendship Research, who has studied the 'friendship recession' in the United States.

Ava Robertshaw

A participant in the speed-friending events at Cafe Con Arte, who found the experience valuable for her social well-being.

Daniel Madrigal

A participant who made an actual friend at a previous speed-friending event at Cafe Con Arte.

Shintell Izquierdo

A participant who found the speed-friending event to be good for her soul and an opportunity to have conversations she wouldn't have had otherwise.

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What they’re saying

“It is painful. It is horrific. The No. 1 antidote to loneliness is friendship. So we absolutely need to know how friendship works, how people make friends and keep friends.”

— Jaimie Krems, Associate Professor of Psychology, UCLA

“Honestly, it's easy to isolate, even unintentionally. You can get your groceries delivered, and you can work from home, and you can network and be on social media to feel this sense of connection. But I don't feel like it actually meets the human need for connection.”

— Ava Robertshaw

“Finding one good friend or acquaintance here is really the hope, right? You don't expect to walk away with 17 new friends.”

— Saul Martinez, Owner, Cafe Con Arte

“It was very good for my soul and to be able to meet new people and be able to have conversations I don't think I would've had otherwise if I wouldn't have come out.”

— Shintell Izquierdo

“You're socializing with other adults for the sake of socializing. There's no destination besides just connection. It filled my social bucket.”

— Ava Robertshaw

What’s next

Cafe Con Arte plans to continue hosting regular speed-friending nights, providing a space for adults in the Pasco community to make new connections and combat loneliness.

The takeaway

In an era of increasing social isolation, events like speed-friending offer a simple but meaningful solution by creating opportunities for adults to engage in low-stakes, repeated interactions and build new relationships. While these events may not lead to lifelong friendships, they can help fill the 'social bucket' and address the growing 'friendship recession' in the United States.