Man Overcomes Social Anxiety Through Shame-Attacking Exercises

A therapist's unconventional approach helps a socially anxious client embrace his flaws and find connection.

Apr. 8, 2026 at 10:19pm

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A minimalist neon outline illustration depicting a person with their arms raised, the figure's shape and movement suggesting intense sweating, set against a dark background that emphasizes the glowing lines.Shame-attacking exercises helped a socially anxious man confront his fears and embrace his true self.Philadelphia Today

A young man named Martin sought treatment for intense social anxiety caused by excessive sweating, which he believed made him repulsive to women. His therapist, Dr. David Burns, introduced him to a technique called "shame-attacking exercises" - deliberately doing embarrassing things in public to confront his fears. Despite initial resistance, Martin followed through, and discovered that people were far more accepting of his sweating than he had imagined. This helped him overcome his social anxiety and even led to a potential romantic connection.

Why it matters

This story highlights how confronting one's deepest fears and insecurities, rather than avoiding them, can be a powerful path to overcoming social anxiety. It challenges the common misconception that anxiety is caused by physical symptoms like sweating, blushing or trembling, and shows how the real root is often the belief that one will be rejected for who they truly are.

The details

Martin, a handsome man in his 30s, had struggled with social anxiety and intense sweating since adolescence. He rarely left his apartment due to the shame he felt about his sweating. During therapy with Dr. Burns, Martin agreed to try "shame-attacking exercises" - deliberately doing embarrassing things in public to confront his fears. Despite his initial resistance, Martin followed through, publicly drawing attention to his sweating in stores and shops. Contrary to his expectations, people reacted with curiosity and acceptance rather than rejection. This helped Martin realize that his flaws were not the barrier to connection that he had believed, and his social anxiety disappeared.

  • Martin first sought treatment from Dr. Burns in the summer.
  • The shame-attacking exercises took place on a hot, humid day in Philadelphia.

The players

Martin

A young man in his early 30s who sought treatment from Dr. Burns for intense social anxiety caused by excessive sweating.

Dr. David Burns

A psychologist who treated Martin using a technique called "shame-attacking exercises" to help him overcome his social anxiety.

Dr. Burns' daughter

A receptionist at Dr. Burns' clinic who provided a woman's perspective on Martin's appearance.

Albert Ellis

A legendary New York psychologist who developed the shame-attacking exercise technique that Dr. Burns used with Martin.

Young woman

A woman Martin met in a boutique who was interested in him despite his sweating.

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What they’re saying

“If you want me to treat you, you'll have to agree to do exactly what I ask. And some of it may terrify you. I might ask you to do something called a shame-attacking exercise. That means making a fool of yourself in public on purpose. Would you be willing?”

— Dr. David Burns, Psychologist

“Look at me. I think I'm the sweatiest man in Philadelphia. It's so hot and humid today, I'm sweating like a stuffed pig!”

— Martin

“Now make sure you don't lose that, Martin.”

— Young woman

What’s next

Martin and Dr. Burns only met a couple more times after the successful shame-attacking exercises, as Martin's social anxiety had largely disappeared.

The takeaway

This story demonstrates how confronting one's deepest fears and insecurities, rather than avoiding them, can be a powerful path to overcoming social anxiety. It challenges the common misconception that anxiety is caused by physical symptoms, and shows how the real root is often the belief that one will be rejected for who they truly are.