Cleveland Sex Therapist Shares Advice for Exploring Kink

A 'Yes, No, Maybe' list can help couples navigate new sexual activities safely and build intimacy.

Published on Mar. 2, 2026

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In this column, a Cleveland-based sex therapist advises a reader on how to explore kink and other non-traditional sexual activities with a partner. The therapist recommends creating a 'Yes, No, Maybe' list to identify interests and boundaries, starting small, and focusing on building trust and communication rather than performance.

Why it matters

Exploring kink and alternative sexual practices can be intimidating, but the therapist emphasizes that it's about deepening intimacy and self-understanding, not just trying new things. The 'Yes, No, Maybe' exercise is presented as a thoughtful way for couples to navigate this process.

The details

The therapist suggests that before discussing kink with a partner, individuals should first reflect on their own desires and reactions by creating a 'Yes, No, Maybe' list of various activities. This allows them to get in touch with their authentic curiosity and any underlying shame or fear. When sharing the lists with a partner, the goal is understanding, not negotiation. Couples should look for shared 'yes' activities to start with, discuss 'maybe' items and any needed boundaries, and fully respect 'no' responses. The therapist advises beginning small, maintaining clear communication and consent, and debriefing afterwards to build trust and intimacy.

  • The column was published on March 2, 2026.

The players

Matt Lachman

A Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor and Supervisor, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, and owner of Cleveland Sex Therapy.

Anonymous

The reader who submitted the question about exploring kink with a partner.

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What they’re saying

“Exploring kink does not have to mean jumping into the deep end. It can simply mean taking it one step at a time and having fun with it.”

— Matt Lachman, Sex Therapist (clevescene.com)

“The beauty of this exercise is that it moves you away from vague curiosity and into clarity. You want your 'yes' to feel enthusiastic and your 'no' to be equally as certain.”

— Matt Lachman, Sex Therapist (clevescene.com)

What’s next

The therapist recommends that couples who decide to try new activities should start small, maintain clear communication and consent, and debrief afterwards to build trust and intimacy.

The takeaway

Exploring kink and alternative sexual practices is about deepening intimacy and self-understanding, not just trying new things. The 'Yes, No, Maybe' list exercise can help couples navigate this process thoughtfully and safely.