Older Couple Struggles With Wife's Inability to Climax

Experts offer advice on rethinking sex and focusing on the clitoris as women age

Published on Feb. 26, 2026

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A woman in her 60s is frustrated because she can't get aroused as easily with her husband of over 40 years as she used to. While she can still climax through masturbation, she is having trouble reaching orgasm during sex with her husband. Experts explain that this is a common issue for women as they age and experience hormonal changes, and suggest focusing on clitoral stimulation rather than just penetration.

Why it matters

As people age, their sexual needs and responses can change, but many couples struggle to adapt. This story highlights a common issue faced by older couples and provides guidance from experts on how to rethink sex and maintain intimacy as the body changes over time.

The details

The woman reports that she and her husband have not had this issue in over 40 years of marriage, but lately she has been unable to orgasm with him, though she can do so through masturbation within 5 minutes. Experts explain that this is likely due to hormonal changes associated with aging and menopause, which can reduce blood flow and sensation in the genital area. They suggest the woman and her husband focus more on clitoral stimulation, rather than just penetration, as that is where most women experience orgasm. Prescription arousal creams or over-the-counter serums containing CBD may also help increase blood flow and sensation.

  • The couple has been married for over 40 years.

The players

Maureen Slattery

An ob-gyn who practices at Rochester Regional Health in New York and is a certified sexuality counselor.

Gretchen Frey

A retired ob-gyn and sexuality educator.

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What they’re saying

“People keep doing the same thing over time, and it doesn't work. Both you and your partner pay attention to the clitoris — that's where you will get most of the stimulation that leads to orgasm.”

— Maureen Slattery, Ob-gyn and certified sexuality counselor (AARP)

“In effect, we are giving ourselves immediate feedback. 'This feels good. This feels better.' Your husband doesn't have that information.”

— Gretchen Frey, Retired ob-gyn and sexuality educator (AARP)

What’s next

The woman may want to discuss prescription arousal creams or over-the-counter CBD serums with her doctor, which could help increase blood flow and sensation.

The takeaway

As people age, their sexual needs and responses can change, but open communication and a willingness to experiment with new techniques can help maintain intimacy in a long-term relationship. This story highlights the importance of adapting to the body's changing needs over time.