Advice Columnists Offer Tips to Help Tween Daughter Avoid Social Media Addiction

Grandma Gail and Kim Murstein discuss the challenges of managing social media use for young teens.

Apr. 7, 2026 at 11:10am

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An extremely abstracted, out-of-focus photograph of a young girl's hand holding a smartphone, surrounded by soft, warm pools of light and color, conveying a sense of distraction and the blurred boundaries between the digital and physical realms.The blurred lines between a tween's digital and real-world lives underscore the need for parental guidance on healthy social media habits.NYC Today

A concerned parent asks advice columnists Grandma Gail and Kim Murstein how to help their 11-year-old daughter who is "obsessed" with social media and devices. The columnists emphasize the importance of setting strict time limits, avoiding social media altogether until at least age 12, and ensuring both parents are on the same page about rules. They also discuss the challenges of balancing a friend's need to vent versus offering unsolicited advice.

Why it matters

Social media addiction and overuse is a growing concern for parents of tweens and teens, with research showing negative impacts on self-esteem, body image, and mental health. This advice provides practical tips for parents struggling to manage their child's device and social media use during a critical developmental period.

The details

The parent explains their 11-year-old daughter is "obsessed" with devices and social media, making it difficult for her to form meaningful relationships or experience life properly. Grandma Gail recommends no social media before age 12, as it can negatively impact a child's self-image during puberty. Kim Murstein shares her own experience getting a phone around 13-14, before the rise of Instagram and TikTok, when social media use was less pervasive. Both columnists stress the importance of parents setting strict time limits and being on the same page about rules. They also discuss the challenge of balancing a friend's need to vent versus offering unsolicited advice, advising to listen and validate rather than immediately jump into "therapist mode."

  • Grandma Gail recommends no social media before age 12.
  • Kim Murstein got her first phone around age 13-14, before the rise of Instagram and TikTok.

The players

Grandma Gail

Co-host of the 'Excuse My Grandma' podcast and new advice columnist for The Post, known for her no-nonsense approach.

Kim Murstein

Co-host of the 'Excuse My Grandma' podcast and new advice columnist for The Post, known for her tendency to offer unsolicited advice.

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What they’re saying

“I don't think any child younger than 12 should be on social media. I think it's very poor influence, especially for girls. They start looking at people who are on it and try to imitate them, and it's not fair. And, they body shame, or they say, 'This one's prettier than I am.'”

— Grandma Gail, Advice Columnist

“I got a phone, I think around 13, 14 — a pink Razr flip phone. And, it was so cool. But there was no Instagram or TikTok. I think I started using Facebook, but there was just not that culture around it where people were commenting negative things.”

— Kim Murstein, Advice Columnist

What’s next

The columnists recommend parents have an open discussion to ensure they are on the same page about rules and limits for their child's social media and device use.

The takeaway

Managing a tween's social media addiction requires a balanced approach of setting strict time limits, avoiding platforms until at least age 12, and ensuring both parents enforce consistent rules. Providing validation and a listening ear is also important when friends need to vent, rather than immediately jumping into "therapist mode."