Op-Ed: Writer's Memoir on Polyamory Seen as 'Cautionary Tale'

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In a New York Times opinion column, Michelle Goldberg examines writer Lindy West's new memoir 'Adult Braces,' which recounts West's experience with her husband's insistence on a polyamorous relationship. Goldberg argues that while West frames her eventual embrace of their polyamorous triad as liberation, the narrative is more unsettling than empowering, as West's husband appears to have taken advantage of her 'devastating lack of entitlement' and 'used her politics against her.'

Why it matters

Goldberg contrasts the memoir's progressive trappings with an old pattern of 'a woman steadily sanding down her own needs to keep a man, then retrofitting the compromise with political language.' She sees West's book as a cautionary tale about how any ideology - left or right - can be used to make women feel they're failing.

The details

In her memoir 'Adult Braces,' Lindy West recounts how her husband insisted on a polyamorous relationship, which West eventually embraced. However, Goldberg finds the narrative more unsettling than empowering, arguing that West's husband 'took advantage of West's devastating lack of entitlement' and 'used her politics against her.' Goldberg sees this as a broader pattern of women compromising their own needs to keep a man, then using political language to justify the compromise.

• Lindy West's new memoir 'Adult Braces' was published in 2026.

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