Psychologist Says Quiet Rage Many Feel As They Age Isn't Bitterness

It's what happens when experience stops being valued, says expert

Mar. 16, 2026 at 5:30am

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A psychologist says the quiet frustration many people feel as they grow older is often misunderstood as bitterness when, in reality, it frequently comes from the experience of realizing their expertise and skills are no longer valued as they age. The author shares personal experiences of ageism she has faced as an older runner, and discusses ways to combat internalized ageism, such as embracing one's appearance and not trying to look younger.

Why it matters

This story highlights the broader issue of ageism in society and the challenges older adults face in having their experience and abilities recognized. It provides insights into the psychological impact of feeling devalued due to age, and suggests ways individuals can combat ageist attitudes.

The details

The author recounts instances of ageism she has faced while participating in running events, where race organizers or other runners seemed to assume she was too old to be running the longer distances. She notes that this type of ageism has happened to her in other races as well. The author discusses ways she has tried to combat internalized ageism, such as looking at race results to see that she is performing well compared to younger runners, and embracing her appearance rather than trying to look younger.

  • The author says her white hair started turning white when she was in her 20s.
  • The author ran her first road race when she was just shy of 50 years old.

The players

Judith Tutin

A psychologist and certified life coach who offers services to address issues like divorce recovery, relationship stress, and living a happy and fulfilled life.

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What they’re saying

“I am convinced that if you can stop worrying about what people think, aging can be pretty fun and liberating. As McDormand said, 'I think that ageism is a cultural illness; it's not a personal illness.'”

— Judith Tutin, Psychologist (yourtango.com)

The takeaway

This story highlights the need to combat ageist attitudes in society and to embrace aging as a natural and positive part of life. By not trying to look younger and focusing on staying active and engaged, older adults can challenge stereotypes and find fulfillment in their later years.