The Bigness of Small Talk

A reflection on the power and importance of casual conversation.

Mar. 15, 2026 at 3:36pm

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The author discusses the significance of small talk, arguing that it is a meaningful way to connect with others and make them feel valued, even if the conversation is superficial. He shares his personal practice of reaching out to five people a day with a brief message, and reflects on how small talk can lead to deeper connections and insights.

Why it matters

This story highlights the often overlooked importance of casual conversation and social interaction in our daily lives. It suggests that small talk, while seemingly trivial, can have a profound impact on our sense of community, belonging, and overall well-being.

The details

The author explains that small talk is a way to break through the "carapace of normal self-interest" and briefly think of others. He shares examples of his own small talk interactions, such as checking in with a waitress about her first experience seeing snow or reminiscing with an old friend about their basketball games. The author argues that these seemingly insignificant exchanges can actually go "surprisingly deep" and serve to connect people in meaningful ways.

  • The author estimates he has asked half a million people 'how they're doing' over the course of his life.

The players

Roger Rosenblatt

The author of several books, including 'Making Toast,' 'Kayak Morning,' and the forthcoming 'More Rules for Aging.'

Nicola

A waitress from Sicily who had never seen snow fall until last year.

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What they’re saying

“The key to good small talk is to believe, if only for a moment, that it is just as urgent and consequential as any philosophical conundrum or national event.”

— Roger Rosenblatt, Author (dnyuz.com)

“Whenever Ginny and I dine in that restaurant, we mention the snow to Nicola, who always smiles excitedly.”

— Roger Rosenblatt, Author (dnyuz.com)

The takeaway

This story serves as a reminder that the small, seemingly insignificant interactions we have with others every day can have a profound impact, fostering a greater sense of community, empathy, and connection in our lives.