Helicopter Grandparents Embrace Hands-On Parenting Role

Grandparents provide essential support, but balance is key to avoid overstepping boundaries

Published on Feb. 11, 2026

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Kami Walker and other parents welcome the involved, 'helicopter' approach of their own parents in helping raise their children, with grandparents providing everything from daily check-ins to hands-on childcare. While some grandparents' advice may need updating for modern parenting, the extra support is cherished, as long as boundaries are respected.

Why it matters

The 'all-hands-on-deck' parenting approach highlighted in this story reflects a growing trend of grandparents playing an increasingly active role in their grandchildren's lives. This dynamic can provide essential support for busy parents, but also raises questions about balancing involvement and respecting parental authority.

The details

Parents like Kami Walker and Rachel Fredman rely heavily on their own parents for everything from daily check-ins to hands-on childcare. While some grandparents' advice may be outdated, the extra support is welcomed as long as boundaries are respected. Psychologists caution against grandparents overstepping by micromanaging decisions about their grandchildren's lives.

  • Kami Walker receives her mother's check-in texts every morning before sending her kids to school.
  • Jessa Shankman, now 12 years old, has had her grandparents taking an active role in her life since she was 3 or 4 years old.

The players

Kami Walker

A Long Island mother of two who embraces the involved, 'helicopter' approach of her own mother in helping raise her children.

Peter Shankman

A single father living in Hell's Kitchen, New York, who is extremely grateful for the close relationship and involvement of his own parents in raising his 12-year-old daughter Jessa.

Rachel Fredman

A divorced mother of a 17-year-old son and 13-year-old daughter who lives on the Upper West Side of New York City and welcomes the advice and hands-on support of her own parents.

Dale Atkins

A licensed psychologist in New York City who cautions against grandparents overstepping boundaries and micromanaging decisions about their grandchildren's lives.

Lexi Montée Busch

A mother of two young children in Los Angeles who considers her own parents, including her father who is a pediatrician and author, to be an invaluable resource in raising her kids.

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What they’re saying

“When I think about helicopter parenting, I consider it to be just one part of my and my mom's style of attachment parenting. You have to hover in your children's lives at an appropriate level for them to be successful and for them to feel nurtured.”

— Kami Walker, Mother (New York Post)

“When Jessa was born, she was my whole world, and she's always first in my mind. At the same time, Peter and I are very close; we really do confer on everything, but I let Peter lead. That's the most important thing. He's the father.”

— Nancy Shankman, Grandmother (New York Post)

“It's much better for grandparents to acknowledge that they're not up on how parents are approaching potty training or sleep training instead of criticizing how they're doing these things. I always encourage grandparents to take the time to read up on these things so you can have a much more constructive conversation.”

— Dale Atkins, Licensed Psychologist (New York Post)

What’s next

As more parents embrace the 'all-hands-on-deck' approach to parenting, experts will continue to study the dynamics between grandparents, parents, and children to provide guidance on maintaining healthy boundaries and supporting each other effectively.

The takeaway

The growing trend of 'helicopter grandparents' highlights the essential role grandparents can play in modern family life, but also underscores the need for open communication, mutual respect, and a clear delineation of responsibilities to ensure the arrangement benefits everyone involved.