Relationship Experts Say Romance Doesn't Require Grand Gestures

Couples and therapists emphasize the importance of small, thoughtful acts over time to maintain intimacy.

Published on Feb. 9, 2026

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According to relationship experts, romance does not have to involve expensive gifts or over-the-top displays. Instead, they encourage couples to focus on expressing love through small, meaningful acts that recognize what matters most to their partner. Relationship therapists and couples share ideas for keeping romance alive, such as establishing date night traditions, communicating needs, and showing affection in everyday ways throughout the year.

Why it matters

This story challenges the common misconception that romance must involve grand, flashy gestures. By highlighting how small, consistent acts of kindness can be just as meaningful, it provides a more realistic and accessible framework for couples to maintain intimacy and connection, especially as relationships evolve over time.

The details

Relationship experts say romance is not one-size-fits-all, and what feels romantic can vary greatly between partners. Some appreciate simple gestures like hand-holding or opening a car door, while others respond better to thoughtful texts or offers to run errands. The key is establishing good habits and recognizing your partner's individual needs. Couples are encouraged to have open conversations about their expectations, rather than making assumptions. Relationship therapists also advise against putting too much pressure on holidays like Valentine's Day, and instead focus on creating rituals and traditions that work for each couple.

  • The article was published on February 9, 2026, ahead of Valentine's Day.

The players

Traci Lee

A licensed marriage and family therapist in Dallas who encourages couples to focus on small, consistent acts of care to support their relationships.

Gabrielle Gambrell

A New York-based woman who has been married for seven years and emphasizes the importance of continuing to date one's partner, even with the demands of parenting and everyday life.

Clarence Smith IV

A 29-year-old middle school teacher and video content creator in Phoenix who believes in using traditional acts of chivalry to communicate respect and care for his girlfriend.

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What they’re saying

“The more that early on, you as a couple are able to establish good habits of whatever romance is going to look like for you, the better it is.”

— Traci Lee, Licensed marriage and family therapist (Baltimore Sun)

“You keep romance alive by continuously dating. No matter how busy or what happens in the world, me and my husband have a mandatory date night. And every single date night, we leave the date energized and happy and grateful, and reminded what means the most to us.”

— Gabrielle Gambrell (Baltimore Sun)

“Romance today involves more seen gestures – let this be seen, let this be shown, let this be big. I do little things like that, and they're looked at as superbly impactful. We don't do this anymore. But to me, baby, this is basics.”

— Clarence Smith IV, Middle school teacher and video content creator (Baltimore Sun)

The takeaway

This story encourages couples to redefine romance by focusing on small, thoughtful acts that demonstrate care and intimacy, rather than feeling pressured to perform grand, expensive gestures. It highlights how establishing consistent rituals and open communication can help relationships thrive, even as they evolve over time.