Relationship Experts Say Romance Doesn't Need Grand Gestures

Couples can show love through small, thoughtful acts, not just big Valentine's Day plans.

Published on Feb. 8, 2026

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According to relationship experts, romance doesn't have to involve expensive gifts or elaborate plans for Valentine's Day. Instead, couples can focus on expressing love through small, everyday acts of kindness and care that are meaningful to their partner. Relationship therapists encourage establishing good habits and traditions around romance, rather than relying on grand, spontaneous gestures.

Why it matters

This story provides helpful advice for couples looking to maintain romance and intimacy in their relationships, especially around holidays like Valentine's Day that come with high expectations. It challenges the notion that romance must involve big, flashy displays, and instead emphasizes the importance of small, consistent acts of love.

The details

Relationship experts say romance can take many forms, from holding hands to running errands for a partner. The key is to focus on what matters most to your individual partner, rather than trying to live up to societal expectations. Couples should also work to establish romantic traditions and rituals, rather than relying on one-time grand gestures. Communication is crucial, as partners should not assume their loved one is a mind reader when it comes to their romantic needs.

  • Valentine's Day is on February 14th each year.

The players

Traci Lee

A licensed marriage and family therapist in Dallas.

Gabrielle Gambrell

A woman living in New York with her husband of seven years and their two children.

Clarence Smith IV

A 29-year-old middle school teacher and video content creator in Phoenix.

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What they’re saying

“The more that early on, you as a couple are able to establish good habits of whatever romance is going to look like for you, the better it is.”

— Traci Lee, Licensed marriage and family therapist (WRAL)

“You keep romance alive by continuously dating. No matter how busy or what happens in the world, me and my husband have a mandatory date night. And every single date night, we leave the date energized and happy and grateful, and reminded what means the most to us.”

— Gabrielle Gambrell (WRAL)

“Romance today involves more seen gestures - let this be seen, let this be shown, let this be big. I do little things like that, and they're looked at as superbly impactful. We don't do this anymore. But to me, baby, this is basics.”

— Clarence Smith IV, Middle school teacher and video content creator (WRAL)

What’s next

Couples should continue to have open conversations about their romantic needs and expectations, especially around holidays like Valentine's Day.

The takeaway

This story encourages couples to focus on building a foundation of small, thoughtful acts of love rather than relying on grand, one-time gestures. By establishing romantic traditions and communicating their needs, partners can keep the spark alive in their relationship.