Financial Secrets Erode Trust as Much as Cheating, Survey Finds

45% of Americans in Committed Relationships Admit to Being in the Dark About Partner's Finances

Apr. 11, 2026 at 2:59pm

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An extreme close-up of intricate gears, levers, and mechanisms of a banking vault, conveying the complex, high-stakes world of personal finances.A powerful visual metaphor for the hidden financial secrets that can erode trust in relationships.Today in Raleigh

A recent survey by Bankrate.com reveals that more than 2 in 5 Americans (43%) believe keeping financial secrets is just as damaging as physical cheating. While 55% of Americans in committed relationships claim they know everything about their partner's finances, a staggering 45% admit they're in the dark. Rhonda Noordyk, a certified divorce financial analyst, says financial secrets aren't just about money - they're about betrayal, power, and control.

Why it matters

Financial infidelity can shatter trust and even livelihoods. Once a financial secret is exposed, it's hard not to question a partner's honesty in other areas. This issue goes beyond just money - it's about the fundamental trust that underpins a relationship.

The details

The survey found that 9% of Americans in committed relationships are hiding major sources of debt, expenses, or income from their partners. Noordyk has seen cases of secret home equity lines, credit card statements revealing hidden affairs, and spouses using money as a tool for power and control. Generational differences also play a role, with 64% of Baby Boomers claiming full financial transparency compared to only 44% of Gen Zers.

  • The Bankrate.com survey was conducted in 2026.

The players

Rhonda Noordyk

A certified divorce financial analyst and CEO of The Women's Financial Wellness Center.

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What they’re saying

“Most couples aren't exactly singing Kumbaya when it comes to money.”

— Rhonda Noordyk, Certified Divorce Financial Analyst and CEO of The Women's Financial Wellness Center

“The look on her face was like she'd been sucker-punched.”

— Rhonda Noordyk, Certified Divorce Financial Analyst and CEO of The Women's Financial Wellness Center

What’s next

Experts recommend identifying shared financial goals, creating a safe space for questions, and monitoring credit to protect against financial infidelity.

The takeaway

Financial secrets can be as damaging as physical cheating, eroding the fundamental trust in a relationship. This issue goes beyond just money and speaks to deeper issues of betrayal, power, and control.