Families of Combat Casualties Relive Grief as War Continues

The pain of losing loved ones in battle never fully fades, say those who have experienced it.

Published on Mar. 9, 2026

Got story updates? Submit your updates here. ›

The deaths of American troops in the ongoing conflict with Iran have resurfaced the grief felt by families who lost loved ones in previous wars. Relatives of the fallen describe the overwhelming emotions that resurface with each new casualty, as they relive the trauma of receiving that fateful knock on the door. Experts say the constant media coverage can reactivate these powerful feelings of loss, even years later.

Why it matters

The ongoing war with Iran has led to a new wave of American combat deaths, which is retraumatizing families who have previously lost loved ones in battle. This highlights the lasting impact of wartime losses and the need for continued support and community for military families dealing with grief.

The details

Since the U.S. and Israel launched attacks on Iran last month, at least seven American service members have been killed. The news of these deaths can be emotionally overwhelming, not only for the families of the fallen, but for those who have previously lost loved ones in the armed services. Relatives describe the pain of reliving the moment they received the tragic news, as well as the difficulty of seeing their loved one's face circulate on social media.

  • Last month, the U.S. and Israel launched coordinated attacks on Iran.
  • At least seven American service members have been killed since the start of the conflict with Iran.
  • The last reported deaths of U.S. service members occurred in December, when an attack in central Syria killed two Army soldiers and a civilian interpreter.

The players

Steve Nikoui

A Southern California resident whose 20-year-old son Kareem was killed in Afghanistan in 2021 during the American withdrawal.

Tori Manning

A 31-year-old woman from Mountain View, Missouri, who lost her older brother, Marine Corps Staff Sgt. Darin T. Hoover, during the U.S. withdrawal from Afghanistan.

Roxane Cohen Silver

A psychology professor who studies responses to trauma at the University of California, Irvine.

Jake Guidry

A 40-year-old man whose half-brother, Marine Corps Lance Cpl. Jared M. Schmitz, was killed during the chaotic exit of the United States from Afghanistan in 2021.

Paula Knauss

A 57-year-old woman from the Tampa Bay area who lost her son, Army Staff Sgt. Ryan C. Knauss, 23, during the withdrawal from Afghanistan in 2021.

Got photos? Submit your photos here. ›

What they’re saying

“My heart really went out to her and the families. That is the beginning of your new life, a life that you never asked for, never dreamed about. Now it's here.”

— Steve Nikoui (The New York Times)

“I didn't know a life without him. He was my older brother. I came into this world knowing him, and him being my protector, the one I always ran to. I try not to watch the news as much anymore, because I know what they're feeling — their whole world is falling apart.”

— Tori Manning (The New York Times)

“What we're talking about now really is a constant bombardment of media images and media stories about the current military losses, so its pervasive, it's everywhere. These kinds of experiences stay with one for one's lifetime, so they can be reactivated at any point.”

— Roxane Cohen Silver, Psychology professor, University of California, Irvine (The New York Times)

“The spectacle of it all can really rip something very intimate away from you. Understand that grief is a long, winding process and it will kind of weave in and out of your life.”

— Jake Guidry (The New York Times)

“These men and women are examples of the best of us, and when I think about the fact that my son, he gave his life so others could live — that's the highest calling you could have. Thank God we have men and women who have that kind of heart in our nation, to rise up and say, 'Send me. I'll go.'”

— Paula Knauss (The New York Times)

What’s next

The judge in the case will decide on Tuesday whether or not to allow Walker Reed Quinn out on bail.

The takeaway

This story highlights the lasting trauma and grief experienced by military families who have lost loved ones in combat. The constant media coverage of new casualties can reopen old wounds, underscoring the need for ongoing support and community for those dealing with such profound loss.