Museum Cafe Patron Refused to Give Up Chair Holding Purse

Miss Manners weighs in on the etiquette of sharing seating in crowded public spaces.

Published on Mar. 5, 2026

Got story updates? Submit your updates here. ›

A museum cafe patron was searching for a place to sit with her husband when she encountered a woman at a table with two empty chairs, one of which was holding her purse. The patron politely asked to borrow the chair, but the woman refused, saying her husband was coming. The patron then pointed out that the two of them would not need three chairs, but the woman still refused to give up the chair for the patron's use.

Why it matters

This scenario highlights the ongoing etiquette challenges around sharing limited seating in crowded public spaces, where some individuals may prioritize accommodating their personal belongings over making space available for others who need a place to sit.

The details

According to the letter writer, when she politely asked the woman if she could borrow one of the empty chairs, the woman refused, saying her husband was coming. The patron then pointed out that the two of them would not need three chairs, but the woman still refused to give up the chair that was holding her purse, instead hanging her purse on her own chair and glaring at the patron.

  • The incident occurred at a museum cafe.

The players

Letter Writer

A museum cafe patron who was searching for a place to sit with her husband.

Woman at Table

A woman at a table in the museum cafe who had two empty chairs, one of which was holding her purse.

Got photos? Submit your photos here. ›

What they’re saying

“Could I borrow one of your chairs?”

— Letter Writer

“No, my husband is coming.”

— Woman at Table

“Will the two of you be needing three chairs?”

— Letter Writer

The takeaway

This incident highlights the ongoing challenges around sharing limited seating in crowded public spaces, where some individuals may prioritize accommodating their personal belongings over making space available for others who need a place to sit. The letter writer's polite but firm response demonstrates one way to address such situations while maintaining good manners.