Woman Reflects on Decades of Quitting and Relapsing Smoking

After 20 years of on-and-off quitting, she's rethinking what it means to quit for good.

Published on Feb. 22, 2026

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A woman shares her story of picking up smoking as a teenager, quitting over 20 times in the past 20 years, and the nostalgia and social bonds she still associates with the occasional cigarette. She's now vowing to allow herself one cigarette per month, rather than continuing to sneak and hide her smoking, in the hopes that taking the shame out of it will help her finally quit for good.

Why it matters

This story highlights the complex and deeply personal nature of addiction, and the difficulty many people face in fully quitting smoking, even when they know the health risks. It raises questions about harm reduction versus complete abstinence when it comes to breaking addictions.

The details

The woman, Andrea Javor, started smoking at age 16 in 1995. Over the next decade, she became a pack-a-day smoker, seeing it as a "suit of melancholic glamour" that gave her an "emotional shorthand for feeling tragic." In her 20s, she recognized that smoking had become a meaningful social ritual for her. As public perception shifted and smoking bans were implemented, she tried to quit many times, including when she was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes at 27. But she always relapsed, sneaking cigarettes in private. Now at 46, she's decided to allow herself one cigarette per month, rather than continuing to hide her smoking, in the hopes that taking away the shame will help her finally quit for good.

  • In 1995, Andrea Javor started smoking at age 16.
  • In the early 2000s, tobacco control media campaigns shifted public perception on smoking.
  • In 2007, the Motion Picture Association of America began considering cigarettes as a reason for stricter movie ratings.
  • At age 27 in 2007, Andrea was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes, leading her to try quitting.
  • Over the past 20 years, Andrea has quit smoking over 20 times.

The players

Andrea Javor

A woman who started smoking as a teenager and has struggled to quit over the past 20 years, despite numerous attempts.

Mark

Andrea's high school boyfriend, with whom she used to alternate between making out and smoking cigarettes.

Andrea's uncle

Caught Andrea smoking outside on Christmas Day when she was 17, but never told her parents.

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What they’re saying

“I just really love an occasional cigarette.”

— Andrea Javor

What’s next

Andrea plans to allow herself one cigarette per month, rather than continuing to sneak and hide her smoking, in the hopes that taking away the shame will help her finally quit for good.

The takeaway

This story highlights the deeply personal and complex nature of addiction, and the difficulty many face in fully quitting smoking even when they know the health risks. It raises important questions about harm reduction versus complete abstinence when it comes to breaking addictions.