SNL Cold Open Spoofs Pentagon Press Conference on Iran Conflict

Colin Jost's 'Pete Hegseth' dodges questions about war, sings Papa Roach and Hamilton riffs

Published on Mar. 8, 2026

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In the latest Saturday Night Live cold open, Colin Jost portrayed Department of War Secretary Pete Hegseth holding a chaotic press conference about the escalating conflict with Iran. Hegseth repeatedly refused to call the situation a 'war,' instead referring to it as a 'situationship,' and broke into musical parodies of Papa Roach and Hamilton. The sketch also featured a cameo from Kristi Noem, who announced she was 'self-deporting' after being dismissed as Homeland Security Secretary.

Why it matters

The sketch satirizes the U.S. government's response to the ongoing military conflict with Iran, which has resulted in hundreds of casualties across the Middle East, including American troops. It highlights concerns about the administration's messaging and framing of the situation, as well as the use of AI-generated war footage that some critics say trivializes the human toll.

The details

In the sketch, Jost's Hegseth dodges questions about potential troop deployments, the possibility of retaliation, and whether the conflict could spiral into a prolonged quagmire. He also mocks the administration's use of rhyming slogans and war movie-style social media posts to promote the military offensive.

  • On February 28, the United States joined Israel in striking an Iranian oil storage facility.
  • On March 1, three U.S. military deaths were reported, prompting President Trump to say 'we expect casualties.'

The players

Pete Hegseth

The Department of War Secretary, portrayed by Colin Jost in the SNL sketch.

Donald Trump

The President who has referred to the conflict with Iran as a 'war' on multiple occasions.

Kristi Noem

The former Homeland Security Secretary who makes a cameo appearance in the sketch, announcing she is 'self-deporting' after being dismissed from her role.

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What they’re saying

“Alright, listen up, dipsticks, okay? 'Cause this is actually serious, okay? As you may have seen from our epic Pentagon meme drops, we're treating Iran like the breathalyzer in my car and blowing it the hell up.”

— Pete Hegseth, Department of War Secretary (SNL)

“Wait, whoa, wait. Wait. Wait. 'War?' Okay. Whoever called this a 'war'? Except maybe the President a couple times accidentally. This isn't a war. Also, why do we have to put labels on everything, okay? What are you, my high-school girlfriend? Which I had! This isn't a war, okay? It's a situationship.”

— Pete Hegseth, Department of War Secretary (SNL)

“If we don't know what we're doing, then Iran definitely doesn't know what we're doing.”

— Pete Hegseth, Department of War Secretary (SNL)

What’s next

The sketch does not mention any clear next steps, as it is a satirical portrayal of the current situation rather than a prediction of future events.

The takeaway

The SNL cold open highlights the growing concerns about the U.S. government's messaging and framing of the military conflict with Iran, as well as the potential human toll and long-term consequences of the ongoing hostilities.