5 Conversations to Have With Your Aging Parents

Experts share how to broach difficult topics and get prepared for emergencies.

Published on Feb. 8, 2026

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As Americans are living longer, often with multiple chronic conditions, many adult children don't really know what's going on with their aging parents' health until a crisis occurs. Experts recommend having five key conversations with your parents to get prepared: 1) Understand their baseline health and daily functioning, 2) Compile their medical history, 3) Clarify their values and priorities for medical care, 4) Discuss their living environment and long-term housing plans, and 5) Designate a point person for medical decision-making.

Why it matters

These conversations can help adult children be better prepared to support their aging parents in an emergency, avoid family conflicts, and ensure the parents' wishes are understood and followed. They also allow parents to maintain more control over their care as they get older.

The details

The experts recommend asking permission before broaching sensitive topics like mobility and cognition, and framing the questions in a caring way to understand how to best support the parents. It's also important to revisit these conversations annually or after major health events. Compiling a detailed medical history can be crucial in an emergency, and discussing end-of-life wishes and priorities for quality of life can guide difficult decisions. Evaluating the home environment and long-term housing options can help parents stay independent for longer. Designating a clear point person for medical decision-making avoids confusion and ensures the parents' wishes are followed.

  • The experts recommend having these conversations at least once a year, or after any major health event like a hospitalization or surgery.

The players

Dr. Louise Aronson

A geriatrician at the University of California, San Francisco, and the author of 'Elderhood'.

Dr. Sabrina Taldone

The chief of general internal medicine at the University of Miami Health.

Dr. Namita Seth Mohta

An assistant professor of medicine at Harvard Medical School and a former director at Ariadne Labs.

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What they’re saying

“It feels like you're putting them through something hard, but it's avoiding something that is far, far worse.”

— Dr. Louise Aronson, Geriatrician (New York Times)

“In an emergency, you're rushing through the decisions — it's emotional. This is a chance to reflect ahead of time.”

— Dr. Namita Seth Mohta, Assistant Professor of Medicine (New York Times)

The takeaway

Having open and thoughtful conversations with aging parents about their health, living situation, and end-of-life wishes can help adult children be better prepared to support their parents' needs and ensure their preferences are respected, even in a crisis.