Valentine's Day Pressure Grows as Spending Meets Rising Expectations

Behavioral expert warns of financial stress and unrealistic expectations around the highly commercialized holiday.

Published on Feb. 9, 2026

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With Valentine's Day approaching, many couples are feeling the pressure to deliver a picture-perfect celebration, often with a hefty price tag. Dr. Supria Gil, a behavioral expert with Kaiser Permanente, says the holiday's highly commercial nature can fuel financial stress and unrealistic expectations, leading to a sense of obligation. Gil encourages couples to focus on daily expressions of gratitude and managing conflict, rather than getting caught up in the pressure to spend on dinners, flowers, and gifts.

Why it matters

The pressure to spend on Valentine's Day can impact relationships, especially when partners have different financial standards or expectations. For those not in relationships, the holiday can also intensify feelings of loneliness.

The details

Dr. Gil says the highly visual nature of Valentine's Day, with images of 'perfect' celebrations, creates expectations that are often hard to meet. She also warns about the concept of 'phubbing,' where one partner is distracted by their phone while the other is trying to connect, which can negatively impact relationships. Gil suggests using 'we' language during disagreements and acknowledging things you appreciate about your partner as healthier ways to approach the holiday.

  • Valentine's Day is this Saturday, February 14, 2026.

The players

Dr. Supria Gil

A behavioral expert with Kaiser Permanente.

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What they’re saying

“It is a highly commercialized holiday, which can contribute to financial stress. It also is a highly visual holiday, so we see a lot of images around what a perfect Valentine's Day should look like, which creates expectations that sometimes are hard to meet.”

— Dr. Supria Gil, Behavioral Expert, Kaiser Permanente (abc10.com)

The takeaway

While Valentine's Day is a popular holiday, the pressure to spend and create a 'perfect' celebration can put a strain on relationships. Experts recommend focusing on daily expressions of gratitude, managing conflict in a healthy way, and not getting caught up in the commercialism of the holiday.