8 Fake Wellness Trends Sweeping Los Angeles

From cabbage-core to amino acid trips, these outrageous new fads are meant for laughs, not serious wellness

Apr. 1, 2026 at 8:40pm

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This satirical article from newspub.live imagines a future where Angelenos flock to the most bizarre and financially-aggressive wellness trends, including cabbage-based diets, tiny "bites" at restaurants, soccer camps for aging fans, and more. The author admits these trends are completely fabricated and meant purely for entertainment, not actual wellness advice.

Why it matters

Los Angeles is known for embracing the latest wellness fads, no matter how outlandish. This article pokes fun at the city's obsession with pseudoscience and over-the-top health treatments by dreaming up a series of completely made-up trends that push the boundaries of wellness to absurd new heights.

The details

The article describes eight fictional wellness trends that Angelenos might embrace in 2026, including "cabbage-core" diets, "FIFA for the Olds" soccer camps for aging fans, "chrononutrition" that aligns eating with the sun's movement, and "optimized flatulence" that allows people to control their gas. Other trends include "hot line dancing," "circadian overhead lighting," and "amino acid trips" that provide a hallucinogenic experience.

  • The article was published on April 1, 2026, as an April Fools' Day prank.

The players

Leib

A comedian, TV writer, podcaster and cultural journalist who wrote the satirical article.

newspub.live

The online publication that published the fake wellness trends article.

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What they’re saying

“Wellness is so intrinsic to our identity it raises the question: Have you had a vitamin aloe serenity scrub under a glowing red light contour mask using a triple-hydration oxygenator submerged in a vitamin C longevity mist inside a gently eroding brutal-minimalist high-rise overlooking a Zankou Chicken?”

— Leib, Author

“Whether you're a true believer or here for a couple laughs (wink, wink), we can all agree that Los Angeles isn't afraid of grabbing onto the fringes.”

— Leib, Author

The takeaway

This article serves as a humorous commentary on Los Angeles' obsession with the latest wellness fads, no matter how bizarre or unsubstantiated they may be. By imagining a future filled with outrageous new trends, the author pokes fun at the city's willingness to embrace pseudoscience and financially-aggressive health treatments in the name of self-improvement.