Man Struggles With Wife's Affair With Ex-Con

Advice columnist urges legal counsel as wife demands he accept her infidelity.

Mar. 27, 2026 at 9:10am

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A man writes to Dear Abby about his wife's affair with an ex-convict, saying she has kicked him out of their marital bed and demands he accept the situation or face divorce. The advice columnist urges the man to seek legal counsel, as his wife has effectively deserted him despite his attempts to forgive her.

Why it matters

This story highlights the difficult emotional and legal challenges faced by those dealing with infidelity and power imbalances within a marriage, especially when a spouse is involved with someone with a criminal history.

The details

The man says his wife is having an affair with an old high school flame who was recently released from prison after serving time for murder. The man has tried to forgive his wife, but she has demanded he accept the affair or face divorce. She has also kicked him out of their marital bed and prohibited him from touching or hugging her, though he continues to do his "husband-type chores."

  • The ex-con was just recently released from prison.

The players

Sidelined in Pennsylvania

The man writing to Dear Abby about his wife's affair.

Abigail Van Buren

The advice columnist also known as Jeanne Phillips, who founded the Dear Abby column.

Pauline Phillips

The mother of Abigail Van Buren, who originally founded the Dear Abby column.

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What they’re saying

“I am sorry for your pain, of which I'm sure there is plenty. By ousting you from the marriage bed, your wife has effectively deserted you. You may forgive her for the ongoing affair, but tolerating the status quo will not save your marriage. It is important that you seek legal counsel now to help you in the months ahead, because you are going to need it.”

— Abigail Van Buren, Advice Columnist

What’s next

The advice columnist urges the man to seek legal counsel to help him navigate the challenges ahead as his wife continues the affair and excludes him from their marital relationship.

The takeaway

This story underscores the complex emotional and legal issues that can arise when a spouse engages in an affair, especially with someone who has a criminal history. Seeking professional guidance is crucial for those facing similar situations to protect their rights and wellbeing.