Perpetual Scapegoat Seeks Peace After Years of False Accusations

A Colorado resident has been wrongly blamed for various actions since childhood.

Mar. 22, 2026 at 10:10am

Got story updates? Submit your updates here. ›

A person who has been unjustly blamed for various actions since childhood is seeking advice on how to handle the ongoing resentment. They have been accused of stealing, lying, and other actions they did not commit, and when the accuser finds they were wrong, they rarely apologize. The person is becoming increasingly angry and resentful toward these people.

Why it matters

This story highlights the emotional toll that being a perpetual scapegoat can take on an individual, and the importance of accountability and empathy when making accusations against others.

The details

The letter writer, who is from Colorado, says they are usually caught off guard by the accuser and dumbfounded. They state that if they do something wrong, they are the first to admit it and apologize, but the accuser rarely, if ever, apologizes when they find they were wrong.

  • The letter writer has been dealing with this issue since they were a little kid.

The players

Abigail Van Buren

Also known as Jeanne Phillips, she is the author of the Dear Abby advice column, which was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips.

Dumbfounded in Colorado

The letter writer who has been a perpetual scapegoat since childhood.

Got photos? Submit your photos here. ›

What they’re saying

“There is something I have been dealing with from the time I was a little kid. I seem to be a magnet for blame for things I haven't done. I have been accused of stealing, lying, doing this or that and anything else you can imagine. I am usually caught off guard by the accuser and dumbfounded.”

— Dumbfounded in Colorado

“When you are wrongly accused, tell the accuser how angry and resentful this has made you feel all these years. Then, if it happens again, feel free to avoid that person until an apology is offered.”

— Abigail Van Buren, Advice Columnist

The takeaway

This story highlights the importance of accountability, empathy, and open communication when making accusations against others, as well as the emotional toll that being a perpetual scapegoat can take on an individual.