11 Traits of Men Who Pull Away When Things Get Serious

Understanding why some men fear commitment and avoid intimacy in relationships.

Published on Feb. 8, 2026

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A fear of commitment is common among men, even if they care about their partner. When a relationship becomes more serious, some men may pull away due to traits like independence, self-consciousness, lack of vulnerability, ambition, inconsistency, sensitivity, irritability, emotional unavailability, and fear of intimacy. This article explores 11 key personality traits that can cause men to distance themselves when things get serious in a relationship.

Why it matters

Understanding the underlying reasons why some men pull away when a relationship becomes more serious can help partners have more empathy and work through commitment issues. Knowing these common traits can also allow women to identify potential red flags early on and make informed decisions about whether to continue pursuing a relationship.

The details

The article outlines 11 key traits that can cause men to pull away when a relationship gets serious: 1) They value their independence and fear losing it. 2) They are self-conscious and lack confidence. 3) They struggle to be vulnerable. 4) They are highly ambitious and focused on their goals. 5) They are inconsistent in what they want. 6) They are overly emotional and unsure how to process deep feelings. 7) They are self-reliant to a fault. 8) They are sensitive and embarrassed by this trait. 9) They are easily irritated. 10) They are emotionally unavailable. 11) They are fearful of intimacy and getting hurt.

  • The article was published on February 8, 2026.

The players

Amelia Kelley, Ph.D.

An expert who discusses how traditional notions of masculinity can suppress sensitive traits in men.

Lisa Fritscher

An expert who explains that fear of intimacy is characterized by a desire for closeness combined with a tendency to push others away.

Haley Van Horn

The freelance writer who authored the article, with a master's degree in Humanities and a focus on entertainment and lifestyle stories.

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What they’re saying

“The concept of masculinity itself can be a mask worn to suppress any traits that do not appear stereotypically powerful. For example, being confident is often found on lists describing masculinity, while being expressive normally is not. This form of bias about what it means to be masculine can further ostracize highly sensitive men, making them feel 'other' than the rest of their peers.”

— Amelia Kelley, Ph.D. (yourtango.com)

“Fear of intimacy, sometimes referred to as intimacy avoidance or avoidance anxiety, is characterized as the fear of sharing a close emotional or physical relationship. People who experience this fear don't usually wish to avoid intimacy, and may even long for closeness, but frequently push others away or even sabotage relationships nonetheless.”

— Lisa Fritscher (yourtango.com)

The takeaway

This article provides valuable insights into the common personality traits and underlying reasons why some men may pull away when a relationship becomes more serious. Understanding these dynamics can help partners have more empathy, work through commitment issues, and make informed decisions about the future of their relationship.