Dating App Fatigue: How to Find a Compatible Partner, According to a Researcher

A psychology professor says dating apps are "mostly a waste of time" for finding true compatibility.

Published on Mar. 3, 2026

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According to Dr. Paul Eastwick, a psychology professor at the University of California, Davis, dating apps are not helpful for finding a truly compatible partner. He says attraction and compatibility are "going to be more or less a dart throw" when you meet someone in person, and that focusing on broad personality traits often leads people astray. Eastwick advises committing to at least three dates before deciding how you feel, joining hobby groups and clubs to get to know people slowly, and focusing on "green flags" rather than overanalyzing potential red flags.

Why it matters

Eastwick's research challenges the common assumption that dating apps can help people find compatible long-term partners. His insights suggest that the endless options and quick judgments enabled by apps may actually hinder people's ability to build genuine connections. As more singles turn to technology to find love, understanding the limitations of this approach could help people adopt more effective strategies.

The details

Eastwick, the author of "Bonded by Evolution: The New Science of Love and Connection," says compatibility is "a construction process rather than an initial attraction process." He advises against relying on dating app filters to find a perfect match, as attraction often grows over time rather than being an immediate "spark." Instead, Eastwick recommends joining hobby-based groups and clubs to get to know potential partners gradually, and committing to at least three dates before deciding how you feel about someone. He also encourages focusing on "green flags" - positive qualities that make you feel good - rather than overanalyzing potential red flags.

  • Eastwick shared these insights in an interview published on March 3, 2026.

The players

Dr. Paul Eastwick

A psychology professor at the University of California, Davis and the author of "Bonded by Evolution: The New Science of Love and Connection."

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What they’re saying

“It's mostly a waste of time.”

— Dr. Paul Eastwick, Psychology Professor (Business Insider)

“Compatibility is a construction process rather than an initial attraction process.”

— Dr. Paul Eastwick, Psychology Professor (Business Insider)

The takeaway

Eastwick's research suggests that while dating apps may feel productive, they often hinder people's ability to build genuine compatibility. By focusing on slow-burn connections in hobby-based groups and committing to multiple dates, singles may have a better chance of finding a partner they truly click with over time.