Embracing Uncertainty: A Love Letter to Being 21

A college student reflects on the pressure to have it all figured out and the beauty in feeling lost

Published on Feb. 10, 2026

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In this personal essay, a 21-year-old college student at Cal State Chico opens up about the universal experience of feeling lost and uncertain at this age, despite societal pressures to have everything figured out. She shares her own struggles with comparing herself to her peers and the discomfort of being in that in-between phase of life, while encouraging others to embrace the transition and introspection that comes with this time.

Why it matters

This story resonates with many young adults who are navigating the complexities of early adulthood and the societal expectations to have a clear path forward. By destigmatizing feelings of uncertainty, the author aims to foster more open conversations about the realities of this formative period of life.

The details

The author, a student writer for Her Campus at Cal State Chico, reflects on reaching the milestone of her 21st birthday and realizing she still feels just as lost as before, despite the societal pressure to have everything figured out. She had envisioned feeling more like an "adult" at this age, but instead continues to struggle with comparing herself to her peers and questioning whether she's making the right decisions. Through a conversation with her roommate, she realizes these feelings are universal among their peers, leading her to wonder if they stem from internal judgment or external societal pressures.

  • The author recently celebrated her 21st birthday.

The players

Delaney Ingalls

The author, a student writer for the Her Campus chapter at Cal State Chico.

The author's roommate

The author's roommate, with whom she discussed their shared feelings of uncertainty about being 21.

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What they’re saying

“We're stuck in between not being a naive and carefree teenager without the luxury of having an established career or relationships. We both agreed on the fact that twenty-one feels like an age where you're supposed to have everything figured out, yet neither of us does.”

— The author (Her Campus)

The takeaway

This story encourages young adults to embrace the uncertainty and transition that comes with being 21, rather than feeling pressured to have everything figured out. By destigmatizing these universal feelings of being lost, the author hopes to inspire more open conversations and a sense of community among those navigating early adulthood.