Although Thanksgiving is traditionally oriented around a festive combination of gratitude and food, let’s face it: sometimes these heartwarming family get-togethers can be a little, well, stressful. If there’s tension in the air, lighten things up with a helping of these hilarious Thanksgiving jokes. Better yet, offer everyone seconds and thirds. And dessert.
- On Thanksgiving dinner, most of us turn into hipsters: we all go out of our way to eat the turkey before it is cool.
- My cooking is so bad, my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.
— Phyllis Diller
- I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.
— Erma Bombeck
Q: Why didn’t the turkey roast properly on Thanksgiving?
A: I’ve no idea, but I suspect some fowl play.
Q: What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children?
A: If your father could see you now, he’d turn over in his gravy.
Q: What happened when the turkey got into a fight?
A: He got the stuffing knocked out of him.
Q: What do you get when you cross an octopus with a turkey?
A: Finally enough drumsticks for everybody at Thanksgiving.
Q: What would cooks most like to make on Thanksgiving?
A: Restaurant reservations.
Q: How many cooks does it take to stuff a turkey?
A: Just one, but you really have to squeeze him in!
Q: Why did they let the turkey join the band?
A: Because he was the one with the drumsticks.
- “I was going to serve sweet potatoes with Thanksgiving dinner, but I sat on them.
“So what are you serving now?”
- Asked to write a composition entitled, “What I’m thankful for on Thanksgiving,” a student wrote, “I am thankful that I’m not a turkey.”
- About two weeks into November, the head turkey turns to his second-in-command and says, “I have a feeling something’s going down. The farmer just unfriended me on Facebook.”
Q: What do you get when you crossbreed a turkey with a harp?
A: A bird who can pluck itself.
- An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day.