Funniest Thanksgiving Jokes 2018

Although Thanksgiving is traditionally oriented around a festive combination of gratitude and food, let’s face it: sometimes these heartwarming family get-togethers can be a little, well, stressful. If there’s tension  in the air, lighten things up with a helping of these hilarious Thanksgiving jokes. Better yet, offer everyone seconds and thirds. And dessert.

 

  1. On Thanksgiving dinner, most of us turn into hipsters: we all go out of our way to eat the turkey before it is cool.

 

  1. My cooking is so bad, my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.

 

— Phyllis Diller

 

  1. I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.

 

— Erma Bombeck

 

  1.  

Q: Why didn’t the turkey roast properly on Thanksgiving?

 

A: I’ve no idea, but I suspect some fowl play.

 

5.

Q: What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children?

 

A: If your father could see you now, he’d turn over in his gravy.

 

6.

Q: What happened when the turkey got into a fight?

 

A: He got the stuffing knocked out of him.

 

7.

Q: What do you get when you cross an octopus with a turkey?

 

A: Finally enough drumsticks for everybody at Thanksgiving.

 

8.

Q: What would cooks most like to make on Thanksgiving?

 

A: Restaurant reservations.

 

9.

Q: How many cooks does it take to stuff a turkey?

 

A: Just one, but you really have to squeeze him in!

 

10.

Q: Why did they let the turkey join the band?

 

A: Because he was the one with the drumsticks.

 

  1. “I was going to serve sweet potatoes with Thanksgiving dinner, but I sat on them.

“So what are you serving now?”

“Squash.”

 

  1. Asked to write a composition entitled, “What I’m thankful for on Thanksgiving,” a student wrote, “I am thankful that I’m not a turkey.”

 

  1. About two weeks into November, the head turkey turns to his second-in-command and says, “I have a feeling something’s going down. The farmer just unfriended me on Facebook.”

 

  1.  

Q: What do you get when you crossbreed a turkey with a harp?

A: A bird who can pluck itself.

 

  1. An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day.