Funniest Thanksgiving Jokes


Although Thanksgiving is traditionally oriented around a festive combination of gratitude and food, let’s face it: sometimes these heartwarming family get-togethers can be a little, well, stressful. If there’s tension  in the air, lighten things up with a helping of these hilarious Thanksgiving jokes. Better yet, offer everyone seconds and thirds. And dessert.

Thanksgiving Jokes

Funniest Thanksgiving Jokes

On Thanksgiving dinner, most of us turn into hipsters: we all go out of our way to eat the turkey before it is cool.


My cooking is so bad, my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.


— Phyllis Diller


I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.


— Erma Bombeck


Q: Why didn’t the turkey roast properly on Thanksgiving?

A: I’ve no idea, but I suspect some fowl play.


Q: What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children?

A: If your father could see you now, he’d turn over in his gravy.


Q: What happened when the turkey got into a fight?

A: He got the stuffing knocked out of him.


Q: What do you get when you cross an octopus with a turkey?

A: Finally enough drumsticks for everybody at Thanksgiving.


Q: What would cooks most like to make on Thanksgiving?

A: Restaurant reservations.


Q: How many cooks does it take to stuff a turkey?

A: Just one, but you really have to squeeze him in!


Q: Why did they let the turkey join the band?

A: Because he was the one with the drumsticks.


“I was going to serve sweet potatoes with Thanksgiving dinner, but I sat on them.


“So what are you serving now?”




Asked to write a composition entitled, “What I’m thankful for on Thanksgiving,” a student wrote, “I am thankful that I’m not a turkey.”


About two weeks into November, the head turkey turns to his second-in-command and says, “I have a feeling something’s going down. The farmer just unfriended me on Facebook.”


Q: What do you get when you crossbreed a turkey with a harp?

A: A bird who can pluck itself.


An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day.