An International Cat Day Valentine

Warning: Bromance ahead

Here’s how oblivious I was as a kid: I remember thinking all dogs were male and all cats were female. Luckily, I had it straightened out by age 30. After that I went through an equally misguided “cats are for women” and “men should really just have dogs” stage. Today things are different. Like most people who think they “don’t like cats,” I have learned to love cats.

Especially mine.

I have a cat named Bob — who was named after David Letterman’s 1980s-era dog. And here now — in a tribute to all three — is a Top 10 List entitled “The Top 10 Things I Love About My Cat.”

Here at National Today, we have no fewer than 16 cat holidays on the calendar. Seventeen if you count National Moscato Day (May 9). Turns out moscato’s a sparkling white wine which has nothing to do with cats. Unless your cat drinks wine, in which case, I would recommend a delicate rosé.

August has three cat holidays alone: National Black Cat Day (August 17), National Take Your Cat to the Vet Day (August 22) and, coming up on Thursday (August 8), International Cat Day — which, by definition, seems to include every cat on the Earth.

Our National Today holiday calendar features all the heavy hitters like National Cat Day (October 29), National Hug Your Cat Day (June 4) and National Cat Health Month (February), as well as the lesser-known National Take Your Cat to Work Day (June 17), National Cat Herders Day (December 15), and my personal favorite: National Answer Your Cat’s Questions Day (January 22).

Most-asked question: “Why can’t the dog figure out how to take a walk alone?”

Here at National Today, we have no fewer than 16 cat holidays on the calendar. Seventeen if you count National Moscato Day.

I have a cat named Bob — who was named after David Letterman’s 1980s-era dog. And here now — in a tribute to all three — is a Top 10 List entitled “The Top 10 Things I Love About My Cat Bob.” Here we go:

Number 10: He seems to enjoy any and all cat toys. You know the ball that rolls around the circle track but can never fall off? That’s an hour of solid nightly entertainment.

Number 9: He likes being at eye level. Bob favors the cat tower “penthouse” — casually tapping you on the shoulder as you walk by.

Number 8: He’s an eager participant in National Take Your Cat to Work Day. (It’s easy. I work from home.)

Number 7: Bob thinks the apartment hallway is Disneyland. (Give him a break — he’s an indoor cat.)

Number 6: He made a carefree transition from a regular litter box to a covered litter box (with door) and never complained.

Planet’s best cat gazes lovingly.

Number 5: He’s faster than insects. Flies have a poor track record in this apartment.

Number 4: Bob will silently crawl up and sleep next to you — and this might make your cry happy tears upon waking up.

Number 3: He will make meow sounds and then respond to yours — sometimes for a good 30 seconds straight. I have some of my best conversations this way.

Number 2: He bites, but not too hard. Like, he knows the difference.

And the number 1 thing I love about my cat Bob: He’s a non-judgmental creature who overlooks my negative qualities and focuses on whatever good he can find in people. Sorry — that’s a whole other holiday.

Enjoy your International Cat Day. I’m off to celebrate.

Moscato for everyone.